The Binary is a Buzzkill

Death of the imagination is death of the spirit. Living without vision for me is the lowest, saddest life.

And then also, there’s the trap of living only in our imagination, only in images; visions, social media curated one-dimensional selves.

We have to get back to the streets. We have to turn off our phones sometimes. We have to look at one another, in the flesh. To smell, to listen. To tell one another our stories, our hopes and fears and feelings and plans.

The more I live and experience and see and wrap my head around it I think in a large part, the revolution, the change we need in this world must and will come to pass in a revolution in communication, in relating to ourselves and one another.

I’m reading Emergent Strategy and just finished the section on Liberated Relationships. The queen, adrienne maree brown recommends radical honesty. She says we could step outside of the capitalist framework of effectiveness in relating by being vulnerable. Why not, “ask the questions you really want answered, speak your truth and let the relationship build inside all that reality.”

I’m continually questioning the Feminine/Masculine binary. Anyone whose taken a few to think on it knows that there is feminine in the masculine and vice versa. And that any and all definitions of what masculinity is and what Femininity is, are relative, fluctuating and ultimately self-defined. I’ve come to see that these words are meaningless. And more so they are harmful when used as classifications and rigid rules for behavior, expression and general being-ness. They are old control tactics that as time goes on, more and more of us can see through. As we feel into our own complexities and contradictions; our strengths, our thoughts and feelings, our feelings and thoughts, our thoughts about feelings and feelings about thoughts.

As Hannah Gadsby  asserts in her stand up show, Nanette (Go watch it now please if you have not yet), us humans have so much more overlap, so much more in common than our differences. Its the constructions, the stories, the roles we’ve been taught, indoctrinated and conditioned into that are so different.

And yeah, there are some chemical differences. But the scientific truth is that those differences in chemistry do not separate along the different sex classifications. Sex is a spectrum as is Gender as is Sexuality.

I truly believe that deep down we all know this. It is hella basic.

And yet.

We’re attached to stories. We tell stories it’s what we do.

To ourselves and each other. To one another and ourselves. All day long. All life-time long.

We become the stories we tell them so much. We follow the rules until we can’t remember that they were just rules, maybe arbitrary, certainly coming from outside of ourselves. definitely designed to keep us in line, separated, out of our power, buying things, endlessly buying things. And forgetting. That is not who or what we are.

I went down the Gender is a trap wormhole all to say that the communication revolution that’s coming (wait no, that is HERE) is by many being called a return to the feminine. The way I understand this it’s because many are saying what is needed is compassion, learning from listening, expanding our consciousness and selves by working together.

Kind of like giving life.

Kind of like gestating, growing, nurturing, supporting, multi-versing and multitasking a thousand hidden miracles in any given moment.

And sure I can get all in my ego about it and be like yup, that’s feminine, just for us who consider ourselves that(have been placed inside of or endlessly told that story) or who have certain body parts and biology.

But again, that’s bullshit.

We are all creators, visioners, we can all birth ourselves, worlds, projects, solutions, incredible possibility anew whenever, all the time.

So here I’m making a conscious choice to stop with the Feminine (Divine or not) verbage. It’s reductive and exclusive and old and trite and meaningless and based in the binary. Based in the failed attempts to control, birthed of lies. Fuck It.

Let’s imagine better, bigger, dreamier, more inclusively than all of that.

Let’s do it together.

To Be Continued.